Blue is the colour...

Days of our lives?

2005-09-12T01:04:00.000+01:00

Got a meme from Che Wah but unofficiallyâ€ï¿½

20 years ago (1985, 7 yrs old)

Just moved to Subang Jaya from Bukit Ledang. Dad finally bought his own home. Reason: next door to a palm oil plantation (kononnya suasana kampong) that lasted about 16 months before being cleared to what is now KESAS highway and USJ (ulu Subang Jaya). Well the 16 months were enough for me to venture into the hutan playing bandits on bikes as well as enough for a couple of snakes to venture into our home. Because we moved in August, I remained in SK Hishamuddin until the end of the year before retiring as the best standard 1ner in school historyâ€ï¿½hip-hip-hooray!! (and I beat a TKCian at that!! Hehehâ€ï¿½boy thatâ€™s gonna get me in trouble)

10 years ago (1995, 17 yrs old)

All my glory days in primary school grounded to an abrupt halt when I took my first step on the decaying grounds of the Malay College. Wild and free was the motto, away from the ever-glaring eyes of Dad, yours truly went about trying to find every definition possible of fun on two legs. During form five all I new was life was about relationships and how you managed them determined your success. Knowing that and actually doing all the necessary stuff are two different things. I just cared for things and people I did, and didnâ€™t for those I didnâ€™t. Scraped through with good enough grades to make the A-Levels programme as well as win the cricket state championships. Also came out with the best times of my life and the best set of friends I could have.

5 years ago (2000, 22 yrs old)

After the collapse of the economy in â€™97 I got booted to Uniten. JPA promised that after two years of hellA-levels, weâ€™d get into the 2nd year of a 4-year degree programme that took in SPM holders. What a loada crap. So at the 2nd-3rd year juncture, after the non-event of the millennium bug as well as the non-event of actually doing any studying, I immersed myself in joining Kantat and Gorrocke in stumping up and organising the RM70k 15-event Kejohanan Sukan Mahasiswa. Also got my hands on the hockey club, squeezed about another RM20k from HEP and set the team on their way to the KLHA Div 3 title. And yeahâ€ï¿½ also started thinking about what to do with my life post university. Eventually decided, yes I need to do a wee bit studyingâ€ï¿½ Also were still very good friends with seven lads I knew and lived with since PPP days.

3 years ago (2002, 24 yrs old)

Finished my degree. Organised the first CoBM graduation dinner with reasonable success. Then skipped graduation day to merantau to Dublin. Started my first proper job with Ernst & Young as an auditor and started my ACCA exams. Basically started a new life, made new friends and made a mistake I swear Iâ€™d never make again! Also saw my first game at Stamford Bridgeâ€ï¿½everything was absolutely wonderful: the view, the atmosphere, the chantingâ€ï¿½everything bar the scoreline which was a dismal 0-0. Also met the bane of my life for the next two years.

Last year (2004, 26 yrs old)

Felt old since I passed the quarter century mark. Time flew; things went by in a blur. If ever there was an unremarkable kind of year this mustâ€™ve been it. What did I do? I canâ€™t really remember. Saw the cliffs of Moher and went to Northern Ireland. Got introduced to the blog world. Spent Christmas in London for the second time in two years, saw Chelsea for the second time in two years albeit with a slightly better scoreline (1-0, hopefully the next several times would yield an exponential increase). Oh yeah how could I forget, I also blew almost all of my money away shoppingâ€ï¿½

This year (2005, 27 yrs old)

Still havenâ€™t finished my ACCAs, hopefully this December would be my last sitting. Went home after two years of being away. Met the love of my life. Completing my three years with E&Y and moving on to greener pastures. Possibly spending Christmas in London again!

Next year (2006, 28 yrs old)

Hopefully happily married, relocated to London, season ticket holder at Stamford Bridge, working in corporate finance or if not that, deciding on something to do for the next five years of my life.

10 years from now (2015, 37 yrs old)

Big family, own company, house with a yard, grey hair on the sides, Chelsea European powerhouseâ€ï¿½

As I donâ€™t pass meme on, whoever needs an idea for a post, knock yourself out!

tinted

2005-09-11T22:12:00.000+01:00

KL is a really cool place to be… either if you’re pretty successful or you’re on your annual trip home with Euro-denominated plastic to burn. I’d love to come home and make it big because that’s where the sense of achievement is. Bang Per reminded me that he went through what I’m facing now a long time ago and it didn’t really matter to people at home what you’ve achieved abroad, its what you can deliver when you do come back that counts. Now he’s a London-trained-CA CFO so I guess that must be true. But I keep asking myself this: is that what I really want? Is that the best route for me?

For now what I know is that I’ve been tinted. Like a souped-up Satria with its chassis barely holding on to a 1.6 Mivec bought from a junkyard in Kajang, the truly cool finish to it would be a top-notch V-Kool job. I’ve found my V-Kool and yes my life is almost complete. There are some finishing touches required but all the essential ingredients are there. That’s why the next few months are so critical so as not to botch things up as I don’t think I could easily recover from further severe setbacks. I can only plan and try very hard all everything else I leave to God.

Micasa

2005-09-11T22:09:00.000+01:00

It’s been 8 weeks since my last post, if you could call that a post anyway. I promised myself when I started this blog business that I’d post at least once a month. Well, I’ve missed August 2005. What a month August had been. It began while I was stil back home in Subang Jaya and it ended on a very fateful Merdeka day back in Dublin. Fateful for possibly 2 life changing events of my young adult life.

The trip home was good; a refresher, an eye-opener as well as a bridge built for the future. Dad had aged visibly, that was the first thing that caught me when I first laid eyes on him when exiting the arrival doors. Had two years been that long? Was it all the treatment finally catching up with him? All I knew was I couldn’t bear to stay away that long again, it was all too much change not to be part of on a much regular basis. After being home a few days only did Mom’s changes became visible. She looked the same, but she was a tad less ‘active’ if you get my drift. Of being told all of this, friends reminded me that it was all natural progress, that they were looking at the same thing.

I witnessed a dear friend bury his father. Managed to sedekah tahlil and went to kubur. That was the least I could do for someone I spent about six years of my life with, pretty much growing into our adulthood, from the decaying dwellings of PPP to the cramped luxury of Palm Gardens. I realised while listening to the talkin that one day I would be doing the same, and I can only pray to Allah that I’d be good son that would bring joy both present and in the afterlife.

There was a different feel to home. Dad is retiring at the beginning of the New Year and on the day I arrived we discussed about the impending event and the changes that were needed to be made to a few daily stuff. That made me realise that I couldn’t be too nonchalant about life anymore and that there will soon a huge reliance on these shoulders. At the beginning of the year I honestly felt that 27 was going to be a difficult year but I didn’t imagine this. Bibi has this theory that I constantly berate, that 27 is actually when one experiences mid-life crisis, and not 40 (possibly due to the increasingly shortening lifespan of man?). Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. All I know is that I’ve got to sort myself out quickish. Ayu’s finished school and is now working. She feels she’s finally grown up now, own job own car and all. I tell her it’s a different world now out there and she needs to be stronger than she ever was before. Deep down I know that she’s a survivor.

The last time I was home it was for a measly two weeks and even that was laden with Dad’s coursework and my quick sneak to Janda Baik. Four weeks seems like a long time and during the first days I felt that I could possibly be a mite bored at the end of it. Boy could I have possibly prepared myself for the whirlwind final days of it.

Managed to meet the regular Joes... actually started with Joe who came over with Mimi. Recently hitched, Dude and I promised them a wedding gift and he duly collected. He seemed happy and I wished him happiness. Then there was the old Dubs flying squad that turned up for Berg’s do. Mud, Jijan, Rasyid, Izhar, Iky, Shahnaz, Che Wah, Pak E, Penew, Alan, Botak, Wyre, Sawdee, Syamil, Kantat, Mancak, Farid and Adri followed suit one location or a few. A gathering at newly hitched Mre also yielded quite a nice line-up.

After missing my 10-year reunion and a few OBWs, went back to Kuala on the second weekend with Botak and Alan. While at Koleq, hooked up with Kutub & spouse, and with Berg, Todd and Smuque who arrived in the afternoon. Koleq looked different with all the facelift for the centennial celebration. By saying different and not better it didn’t really agree with me for some reason. The buzz wasn’t really there anymore. Being sentimental, I suppose I didn’t enjoy the fact that my memory of Koleq when I left didn’t fit into the show horse it is now. Arrived too late to watch the hockey game. Walked through East Wing to find that all the blue glass windows were replaced with normal clear ones to in order to match those that was broken earlier.

The cricket store had broken locks. The mat was torn and there was no one who was interested in replacing them. There wasn’t even an U-15 state tournament anymore such was the degradation of the game. That was immensely sad. There wasn’t a proper coach nor a proper team. Hope I’ll be some day well-off enough to bring things back to life.

Had lunch in New York (the Kuala Kangsar version) and lepaked at Pakcik’s before watching the Vaji matched in the evening. Well at least that bit didn’t change; we got a severe thrashing, as usual. On the way home we stopped in Tapah for some coffee. Conversations were flying upon the day’s trip when questions were raised as to the changing scene of our peers where there would almost never be a repeat of the heyday uber -slacking road trips. One magnanimously suggested that as one was free as a bird, those requiring a fellow uber-slacker during my time at home would almost instantly be granted a big fat YES! Kutub’s better half, sensing this was all poison to her ears, sharply enquired as to my possible plans for settling down, where one replied that although the idea sounded splendid, where one came from the nice ones lived in caverns. A name was suggested and after that everyone (including yours truly) lived happily ever after.

Day 1 Week 2

2005-07-17T20:30:00.000+01:00

Week went by like a flash!! Only 3 left to go!! Darn!! So many things to do and say!! So difficult to sit comfortably in front of the PC without a pair of eyes peeping at any movement on the screen.. ishk ni yg rindoo Dublin nih.. tapi takpe.. small price to pay.. so, no proper post this week, nor for the next 3.. am on holidays!!!

Hmmm...

2005-07-03T19:35:00.000+01:00

A man needs something to love....
If not, then he needs something to dream about...
Or else you'll just have to find something for him to do..

Idle thumbs makes devil's work...

Live8 was gr8 yesterday.. the only sour, and I mean SOURest note was that Maroon 5 played “Keep On Rocking In The Free World”… oh, man.. what a disaster… a great song soiled… I can’t listen to it in the same way again…

Wimbeldon weekend was great too.. Venus found her old self but am sorry for Davenport, if not for her back strain, you’ll never know how things would’ve turned out.
Federer today only emphasised what people had already known.. that he is by far the most complete player and so far ahead of his peers.. Roddick is world number 2, and yet Fed ripped him to pieces… pure genius…

Alonso got back on the road to the championship today… never a better time for a comeback after the fiasco in the States. Raikonen is keeping close tabs while Schumy is still trying hard to be in the picture… lurking in the background waiting to pounce whenever those two make mistakes… still interesting season so far…

Yes, 6… no 5 ½ days to go.. got the last of the shopping done today… can’t wait..

It's Been Too Long

2005-06-29T22:20:00.000+01:00

I underestimated my longing for home and all things that come with it.

I’ve got my ticket for a flight home in 10 days’ time.. I wish it’s tomorrow..

Whatever it is, as a note to self, next trip home shan’t be more than 12 months from the day I get back on the plane.

Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri… I used to snicker at this and thought “yeah, right…” Well, my mistake…

I love the way Dad drives me mad with his never-ending demands…
I love the way Mom is always cool no matter how bad the shit I get myself into…
I love the way Ayu doesn’t give a damn about everything else and just does her own thing…
I love the way Alia is always chirpy and excited about each new day…

See you guys soon…

Steady, steady...

2005-06-02T02:41:00.000+01:00

There’s a sense of déjà vu with this post. It’s almost on the same setting yet fast forward five months and here I am… reasonably accomplished blog in hand, and facing exams again… Yes, the bloody same set of exams that I faced in December minus 1 paper. It was supposed to be minus 3 but for a moronic if not contemptuous rule that the one paper that was not passed had to be within a floor of marks in order just to refer it by itself. Now I can appreciate trying to cut the standard but if your total excess marks of the other 2 papers more than compensate for the 3rd than why not NOT be cruel and let tortured souls like me do just the 1… I mean for feck’s sake would it actually make any difference? Really?

I know I’m not being productive or constructive at this juncture by ruing things past but I’m currently in that funny place, the one when I’m facing exams… for the life of me I just simply cant figure out why I behave like this when facing exams. My emotional stability goes out the window, I’m jumpy and insecure at even the slightest provocation, and my mind races from every possible thought from my first brawl in primary school to my reasons for doing an accountancy degree to why my toenails seems to grow so quickly when cutting them is my least favourite activity in the world besides ironing clothes…

But this time round things are different, I have my trusted blog to pour my thoughts… hopefully by venting it’ll help… we’ll see… ‘cause I sure could use the focus and serenity of the mind… The most interesting thing is about this state of mind is that I’m most conscious of my relationships with people, be it family, colleagues or friends. I’d almost be wondering back to my interactions and behaviour present and past, all flashing through my mind like that scene in Armageddon when Harry was just about to die, only the difference is that I’m not so the flashback is almost continuous like a DVD on perennial fast-forward 4x…

I think one of my poor qualities has been managing relationships (this is not only restricted to the ‘significant other’ genre)… initiations were almost never too difficult (of course except people that would not have 2 seconds for one’s self) but continuity is almost always a sacrilege. Being in Ireland for almost 3 years has led me to bouts of exaggeration (worryingly) but you get my drift. That realisation had let me to think of what I’d do with myself as far as careers go, climbing the corporate ladder is almost out the window… I’d probably get to middle management but I reckon that’s as far as it goes… Thus the only option available is to venture out and do my own thing (winning the lotto apart) within the next 8 years. God help me if I’d become a CFO of anything by then ‘cause that’ll only usher in severe depression and coronary failure by 35. Like Wyclef in ‘Gone ‘till November’, I ain’t a 9 to 5 guy… and yes I know mostly so are you... but one of the attractions of being in audit so far is that once in a few months I could sneak a few days’ break just to unwind. The spectacle of supervisors to partners doing 60 hour weeks frightens the hell out of me… surely there must be more to life than that… doing something you have a passion for I can understand but corporate slavery just ain’t my cup of tea, thank you very much!

Which begs the question, how now brown cow? What’s your master plan? There must be surely a way out there somewhere… I just have to bid my time… as they say, good things come to people who wait... in my case, waiting is also neither of my strongpoints so its gonna be oh so painful… as for now, its one step at a time and the next is to get the exams sorted…

Just a quick note on my beloved Blues, my last posting (pic post not included) was before we faced the Reds (yes, European champions 2005, would you believe it? a team with Traore in it?) in the 2nd leg. Many shocks have passed since and the 2004-2005 season is finally over. Am glad to say, goalless defeat to Reds aside, it was a fulfilling one. I can finally be able to say to fellow footie fans and punters, ‘We are champions!’ and worthy ones at that. Anyone who mentions ‘pedigree’ will be told gleefully to stuff it up their a**es ‘cause it’s gonna be ours for a few years to come. The defeat to the Reds will only serve to strengthen our resolve and stoke our hunger for more success. Since it is 2005, success could not have come at a better time… and like my alma mater, I wish them both a successful centenary celebration!

As for the squad, much tinkering has been spent through the demo of CM5 (could’ve been better made to be honest) and the result is definitely a leftback, a central midfielder, a right winger and a striker. Additions aside the players we could afford to let go are Smertin, Jarosik, Kezman, Forsell, Crespo, Veron and Carlton Cole. Anyone else has to be replaced in order to mount a serious challenge on all fronts next season. If Parker does go to the Toffees as rumoured then Smertin should stay as cover for Mak. After much deliberation, the worthy candidates for addition are:

Leftback: Ashley Cole (I doubt after all the upheaval of the recent events he’d even consider us), Del Horno, Dede (also unlikely with the work permit being a problem), Zambrotta and Kaladze (highly likely as part exchange for Crespo).

Central midfield: Essien (unproven on European stage), Pirlo, Baraja, Xavi (unlikely to leave), Alex, Ballack.

Right Winger: Joaquin, SWP, Deisler, Mancini, Victor.

Striker: Sheva (UTL), Ronaldo, Eto’o (UTL), Adriano, Cassano, Torres.

Let’s just see what Jose does. So far he hasn’t been able to keep his promise of settling all main transfers by 31st of May. Someone made an interesting observation that of all his signings so far, only the ones he was familiar with were a success (ex-Porto) and the others were from borderline to downright flops. The backbone to the squad were either players that were already there when he arrived or players that were already signed by Signor Ranieri (yes Robben and Cech was Ranieri’s buys). It will be an interesting summer and it will be a more interesting season to come! As for now keep an eye on the tabloids…

I Am Humbled

2005-05-12T23:59:00.000+01:00

Finally received some great news today... someone in the examinations department of ACCA Glasgow had finally accepted my appeal and allowed me to sit for the June exams... alhamdulillah, praise to God! The funny thing was, after relentless emails, letters and faxes, the positive reply came in an email, after which I immediately made payment of the fees through the website, before coming home to open 2 letters, both from the ACCA as well, both REJECTING my appeals. How screwed up was their system?! To be frank I just don't care, as long as I get to sit for my exams... now comes the 'easier' part.. to pass them... wish me luck... better still, include me in your prayers... 'cause I'll need them... for all of you that had shared my grief and lit a candle by my side during the turmoil of the last month, I thank you.. you know who you are and you know you hold a special place in my heart...

WE ARE CHAMPIONS!!!

2005-04-30T20:09:00.000+01:00

true blues...

After 50 years the title has finally come home!!! And its here to stay!!!

Great performance from a true champion. His two gorgeously-taken goals clinched it for us!!!

TOP OF THE PILE....

2005-04-30T19:50:00.000+01:00

.
Obviously having a benefactor like Roman Abramovich has made all the difference, but Manchester United and Arsenal just have to accept it and get on with it. It's no use saying money can't buy you success at the start of the season then saying it's the only reason for success at the end.

Fool of April

2005-04-28T10:33:00.000+01:00

It’s been an eventful April… firstly I discovered an old and good friend is pissed with me due to some events leading up to the last Christmas break… now she wont even talk to me… I tell you when it comes to grudges women sets the standards…

Then there was my biggest blunder in recent history when I missed my exam registration for this June… an appeal has been sent and I’m still sweating on the verdict ‘cause the only answer I get from my daily calls to Glasgow is, “Cik harap bersabar, permohonan cik sedang diproses bersama-sama banyak lagi rayuan-rayuan lain macam cik ni…” in the thickest Scottish accent each time without fail… the irksome thing is that the accent makes the reply so dismissive and nonchalant that you can’t help but feel being slapped for making a fool out of yourself… no wonder the ACCA set up shop in Glasgow…there’s no way around those customer service ladies…

Now that mistake has a ripple effect that sends tremors down my working life for the next six months… in a bit of a bind to put it mildly… Initial plan was, in chronological order: Sit for exams in June,
Fill STR for 3 years up to June,
Get ACCA renewal letter for visa so that can renew at least until August when results come out,
Pass exams,
Roughshod until October when I actually qualify and apply for work permit,
And in the meantime after passing the exams in August look for a non-audit job…

Now this plan is on ice... it’s not dead yet but almost comatose… I hope ACCA put me out of my misery soon enough although if things go pear-shaped it’s like jumping out of the boiling pot straight into the frying pan... I’ve yet to tell the bosses at work and significantly still I’ve yet to make it known to THE big BOSS at home!! Man, talk about being caught with your pants down…

With the matter dragging on for the past two weeks its been affecting my focus at work… 3 open files, 1 not yet reviewed with sections outstanding, 1 half reviewed with major work to be done and 1 not-so bad….floating files like that are like a small pelampung out at sea caught in a storm… Hafta sort them out this week!!!

On a lighter and happier note the blues are inches away from the much coveted title… all we need is another 2 points or the Arse to drop 2 points… I’d say sod the Bolton game this weekend, rest the whole starting 11 for the 2nd leg against Liverpool, and win it at home the following weekend t home to Charlton… what’s the use of a big squad if not for things like that?? I mean there are plenty of able fringe players to do a decent job away at Bolton… Injuries in mind my staring line-up would be:

Cudiccini

Johnson, Huth, N. Morais, S. Tillen

Geremi, Smertin, Jarosik/Tiago, Cole

Kezman, Forsell

with Robben coming in at some stage to regain his match fitness…

The 1st team deserves a rest… you could see from last night’s game the fatigue setting in… Lamps was not at his best with misplaced passes overshot freekicks and corners and poor finishing. Makalele too wasn’t at his best with his normally efficient distribution. Fatigue has also finally caught up with Duffer after playing about 50 games, more than any in his last 4 seasons in the Premiership.

Rafa set up shop very well… the defence played deep, Biscan and Alonso holding well in midfield denying Lamps and Eidur space to distribute, Riise kept Johnson busy, and Baros kept the centrehalves busy…

With the midfield stifled and the side missing any width without Duff and Robben we were left hoofing the ball up to the clumsy Drogba who, albeit a few good flick, is pretty poor on the ball and cant hit a cow’s backside with a banjo…We were lucky Stevie wasn’t his usual opulent self or else thing could’ve been worse…

As for the next leg we are fortunate Liverpool will be without Alonso. Their wings will be without proper service. But then again Stevie will take the opportunity to shine after all that’s been said about him not being missed on Merseyside if he goes in the summer.

I do hope both Duff and Robben will be fit for Tuesday, even for half a match. We look totally harmless last night. Their fullbacks are there for the taking to feed the runners into the box. But definitely the 1st team needs a rest this Saturday and that’s clear for all to see. Somehow I don’t see Jose sharing that view…

My interest has been rekindled in F1 with Alonso and Renault doing so well in the first four races of the season. Schumy is back in contention and I see it turning into a good battle. Toyota has started to challenge for placings and so too are Mclaren and the rest of the pack. Going to make it a point to watch the coming races…

As for now, beware Scousers, here we come again!!!

crestfallen..

2005-04-20T00:30:00.000+01:00

Who am I to need you when I'm down

Where are you when I need you around

Your life is not your own

And all I ask you

Is for another chance

Another way around you

To live by circumstance, once again

Who am I to need you now

To ask you why to tell you no

To deserve your love and sympathy

You were never meant to belong to me

And you may go, but I know you won't leave

Too many years built into memories

Your life is not your own

Who am I to need you now

To ask you why to tell you no

To deserve your love and sympathy

You were never meant to belong to me

Who am I to you?

Along the way

I lost my faith

And as you were, you'll be again

To mold like clay, to break like dirt

To tear me uo in your sympathy

You were never meant to belong to me

You were never meant to belong to me Y

ou were never meant to belong to me

Who am I?

'Cause its all in my head...

2005-04-03T20:28:00.000+01:00

Am stuck…in a rut…like that Italian guy like from the Sopranos was saying in the Permanent TSB ad…

It’s April already and the way time flies it’s getting a wee bit scary. 2 ½ months before the exams and I haven’t studied squat. 6 months to go on my contract and I’m still torn between transferring to the Corporate Services department or heading straight to a merchant bank, and with that, staying in Dublin or moving to the UK.

It’s been about 3 years since I’ve been here and although it hasn’t actually been fireworks, I think it’s a bit soon to relocate. Plus I think I’ll pack a bit more punch if I started my transition from audit here for a year before heading for the bright lights of City.

Hmm… decisions, decisions… its crunch time. I’ve always thought of 27 as a funny age… at least for the last 2 months anyway. It’s neither mid -20s nor 30…a sorta twilight zone. Mom and dad’s been prodding about the ‘K’ question for over a year now. I guess I hafta sort that out by the time I go home in July.

As for the next week, its Changing Worlds time again…of I hope M sorted out all of last year’s adjustments properly or else it’s a gonna be another long Monday…

2005-03-24T22:08:00.000Z

Back from that KIP of a town and that KIP of an audit!!! Even if its only for 4 days and there's tons of work left to do!!!

BWBW's Musicology

2005-03-20T11:24:00.000Z

Sunday morning chillin’ after the race and Binx hits me with this chain thing.. supposedly punishment I guess for not updating my blog for two weeks.

But what to do? Life as an auditor doesn’t afford me the luxury of time sometimes, more so since it’s the busy season plus the exams creeping up in three months.

As for having an exceptional taste in music, well Binx was just trying to get on my good side since I’m coming home for cuti this July…don’t worry Binx, you’re definitely getting a frap, or two…Well, here goes…

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

1.2Gbs worth of mp3s..about 300 songs I guess...That’s small fry compared to some of the people I know. Most of my music are on CDs so the only MP3s I keep are the CDs I haven’t got. All my music are on my iPod so there’s no need to duplicate…until it crashes though (fingers crossed) and then I’ll kick myself!!

Full discology managed to obtain for Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins, Soundgarden, Metallica, Counting Crows, Guns n Roses; almost there for RHCP, STP, Greenday, Hootie… rest are only the better (in my own opinion) songs for each performer.

2. The CD you last bought?

It’s been awhile… all sharewares lately… hmm, lemme see… must be the 132 CDs I bought all in one go when I was auditing Warner... heheh… just couldn’t stop ticking when I got my hands on the catalouge, it was a great opportunity to catch up on some old albums… distributor price maa… but hey, no biased favourable opinions issued!!

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?

Nelly feat Tim McGraw – Over and overJust the mood of the weekend…

4. Write down five songs that you often listen to or that means a lot to you.

Aiyoo… very the toughie this one…

U2's With or Without You
One of them songs that I fell in love with the first time I heard it, one of U2’s best two songs..

U2's One
The other U2 great song, first ever U2 song that attracted me to the band.

Foo Fighter's Everlong
Favourite jamming song while in PPP… those were the days.

Pearl Jam’s Yellow Ledbetter
Eddie never sings the same lyrics each time he performs the song live… best riffs ever…

Pearl Jam’s Black
The hollowness that I feel sometimes translates through the words and the song.

Pearl Jam’s In Hiding
It's been about three days now
Since I've been aground
No longer overwhelmed and it seems so simple now
It's funny when things change so much
It's all state of mind
"nuff said...

Counting Crow’s Catapult
Different place, different time..
All of the sudden she disappearsjust yesterday she was here
Somebody tell me if I am sleeping
Someone should be with me here (cause I don't wanna be alone)

Smashing Pumpkin’s Mayonaise
Truly overwhelming song… same as U2’s One, first whiff of this and I was hooked for good… first big concert I ever went to..
And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will

Was is supposed to be just 5? Oh well…

5. Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?

None, really… anyone who wants to pick it up is most welcomed!As for the alleged curse attached… it can kiss my a**…

Just one of 'em weeks

2005-03-09T12:59:00.000Z

This week has been by far the laziest I’ve experienced in a while... it’s just one of them weeks where the mood is wrong, motivation gone AWOL, with concentration and curiosity down the drain. I guess events a fortnight ago still linger strong leaving me in an emotional humdrum that not even the heroics of the Blues against Barca last night could provide me with enough novocaine to drag my ass out into the world today. My inner self is in a clam and it won’t come out to play…

Last night capped an excellent period for Jose after all the shenanigans of being a sore loser. As a long suffering supporter everything now is almost unbelievable. Last night I sincerely thought our bubble of becoming a serious contender in Europe so early in Jose’s reign had burst but what a show! He once said, “In Portugal 1st there is God, and then there is Jose Mourinho”, and by the final score line you can’t find too many faults with that.

What an emotional rollercoaster of a game. 3-nil up within 20 minutes, pegged back almost immediately by that wonderful creature they call the rabbit, I can imagine every fan on the edge of their seats, hands fidgeting on anything they could find, teeth to nail, and eyes trying not to blink…’cause that’s all it takes… I blinked and that outrageous half-flick, half-toe poke went in...3-2...and we were chasing the game all over again. How befitting that JT had the final say after being magnificent during the night, and the whole season. A towering header that had been so lethal in CL games so far was served to kill off the Catalans, whom many to their disdain have dismissed us as nothing but mere peasants to their great footballing tradition.

The outpour of emotion at the final whistle displayed the solidarity, spirit and hunger that have not been seen in a while, if not at all by any of the younger fans including yours truly. Win the league and my season is complete. Any further progress in the CL is a bonus. Jose totally got everything right from the formation to the line-up. With Joe playing so well out right I dutifully eat my own words, we don’t need a right winger. From now Jose is no longer Jose Mourinho, but the Special One.

I need a PDA! And I can’t get one quick enough! Argh…missed an important meeting this morning that could’ve gotten me into Corporate Services. And all because I failed to get the meeting reminder function on my Lotus Notes set up correctly….darn, darn, darn!
Luckily CF’s a tender person and accepted my profuse apology and agreed to reschedule. And lucky also that he’s in Corporate Recovery which I don’t really mind not going into because it’s Corporate Finance that I want. Still a taint is still a taint on one’s name. And in a place like that taints spreads wide. Oh well there could be a hikmah behind it that shall show itself soon…I hope…

Malam Anak Watan…sounds grand. Time to get out the baju batik again. It’s made of lovely hand printed batik that Mak got for me from the east coast before I came here. Navy blue base with electric blue designs, you can do no wrong. I’ve worn it only twice before and the last time was ages ago at the company Christmas dinner. What a rollicking I got that night from drunken auditors and taxmen whose idea of the East is purely white beaches, wooden huts and exotic colours, hence the Malaysian in a batik shirt a classic example of the last characteristic. Luckily they were all to drunk to remember any of my reciprocation of their culture *winks*. It’s been awhile since I’ve last attended a social event so very looking forward to tonight.

Sunday’s podium read:

1. Giancarlo Fisichella
2. Rubens Barrichello
3. Fernando Alonso

Interesting...a Ferrari second (without Schumy!!!) flanked by two Renaults. The season looks promising just from that. But don’t rejoice too early, nor be fooled as the only reason Schumy’s not in the scoring is because Hedfield bumped him on lap 42 whilst in 8th. This after starting at 18th. Am glad both Red Bull drivers scored points, this bodes well for the season. As for the dominance of Ferrari it’s too early to tell. I think I will try to catch the Sepang leg. Go team Red Bull!

Reading: My Life - Bill Clinton
Listening to: Hot Fuss - the Killers

Back to school

2005-03-01T10:17:00.000Z

First day of the week behind me. What a struggle. Mondays have always been difficult, and dreams of a ‘Kev Monday’ can only be induced by alcohol as the ad suggests... At least COB didn’t persist on me going to ION if only for a week. That would’ve been a disaster to do something halfway and leave it for another job.

Ah that rare joy of a third year that’s so seldom spoken…planning...and a whole week of it…take the wingtips off, kick back and relax. Although with traces of TTL and TLU still lingering in the air the week doesn’t look to bad at all. Coupled with the oh so glorious win on Sunday I am absolutely in good form. As I have touched heavily on football these last few postings I will abstain this time round and save my enthusiasm for the return leg with Barca.

The old man wasn’t too happy with my lack of communication lately. With the not so successful results it was always bound to be a source of disconcertion between us that finally broke the surface on Saturday. Surprised myself by being surprised at such an outburst of emotion, I guess it has been a while that such a thing had happen. The time apart is taking its toll on both of us and July just can’t come quick enough. I have always found this barrier of writing to my father. Since my first day at Malay College at the tender age of 13 I have been inundated with reminders to write home and inform of my progress… from then on, to the posting to South Africa, followed by Bangkok, and then of my Irish getaway have the subject of communication been a thorn in our sides… my idea of an update being a 10 minute phone call every fortnight have never been well received and my utter refusal to correspond has been attributed to my inability to fulfil my true potential these last 15 years…

I do not fully comprehend my inability, or almost outright refusal to write to him. I get a mental block each time I try, even back when they were in Pretoria and I was trying very hard to be a good son. Everything from being rebellious to the desire of not wanting to be judged, and everything else in the kitchen sink has been thrown into the ring…but one possible reason has been biting me for a long time…an accusation of arrogance… of being too big for my boots and living in my own world of self-imposed magnanimity that I slight the opportunity to share myself with people who matter and only wish to help and see me do well… This is a serious indictment and if found guilty would throw me into an emotional prison that would forever trap me unless I take steps to remedy the long-standing issue. If only it was as clear cut as that. It’s a work in progress.

On a similarly serious note, it is the 1st of March. Happy birthday D although I know you won’t ever lay your eyes on this wish. Three and a half months to go before the all important finals that would be a very significant key to the next few years of my life. A key to unlock heavy well polished doors and a key to open magic Pandora boxes in my Wunderland. Study hard! Classes starts Saturday, no more sociable weekends after this ‘till June. At least I’ll have time to come back and catch the Norwich game.

Formula 1 is back this weekend. My fervour has long waned with Schumy dominating so momentously there is just not much fun anymore. Binx is drooling over Abg Toya back with a new team. We’ll have to see. Team Red Bull sounds fun. Was a big fan of Red Bull Sauber so it’s good to see them back in the fold, even with the old Jordan and the same Honda engine. If the results are interesting without a prancing horse at the top of the podium I might revert my interest…or else it’ll be just only my West London Blue…

Farcical Times

2005-02-25T11:25:00.000Z

Barcelona 2 – 1 Chelsea

The final score line bellied a far worse state of affairs of the team. If one cares to observe carefully, and collates all related facts intelligently, all does not bode well for the first cup final in almost 3 years…and for the final run-in to the season.

The danger with an arrogant person, no matter how successful, is that it is always possible for him to step out of line and start f**king things up without knowing any better…even with people around him to knock some sense it will not make a difference.

Jose is a very intelligent person. He is also arrogant and he knows that. But for Chelsea’s sake as well as my own well-being come May, I hope he is still in control of himself. The last few days has seen some wildly erratic behaviour.

In chronological order:
the letting go of Baba,
the lack of change in system after the loss of Robben,
the omission of Lamps from the starting line-up against Newcastle with JT suspended,
the triple substitution (although I could understand the lesser priority of the FA cup but he smacks of wanting to win desperately),
the ranting about Rijkaard,
the naming of the line-ups and the inclusion of Duff,
the ‘non-appearance’ of the team against Barca,
the slow reaction to Drogba’s send-off,
the post-match commotion of not talking to the media, and
accusations of dubious play by Barca…

I’m tempted to say ‘Jose, grow up!’ but his antics has been a source of amusement for me from the start due to the sheer contempt shown by Arsenal, Man Utd and Liverpool fans, in that order… :) but seriously from the above-mentioned events its not very funny anymore. If by some clever reason he is simply play-acting as was shown by his former protégé Deco on some occasions during the game, I do hope he lets the players in on it. Because if not even Claudio’s wacky moments of the past would pale in comparison due to all that is at stake.

To be honest I don’t really want to win much this season as it is only his first in charge. I have mentioned this many times before. The Premiership would do just great, more so with the centennial season coming up. He was the one who built up all the hype about the quadruple and lent credence to the nonsense by commenting that it was not impossible. Like Wenger in the season before last it exploded in his face dramatically. Now he is under tremendous pressure to deliver, and more importantly to his overly-massaged ego, to save face. Yes reading into all this would lead you to question the actual direction of my loyalty but I am a great believer in moderation, in most situations at least (as long as it doesn’t involve tiramisu).

We have only set us up for the worst possible run in to the season. Injuries are something unforeseeable and have to be dealt with. On the other hand, letting your other left fullback go when you don’t fully trust your 1st choice, and the cover is a centre-half who, between himself and two others take turns on the croc list just throws the whole idea of having a completely covered squad in the 1st place. Lamps isn’t playing as well as he used to, Tiago’s early season form has dipped, Drogba is just shite, Ferreira doesn’t bomb forward as much as he used to, Kezman is just unlucky and Eidur needs to play off a partner. There, I’ve said it. Without Robben we’ve lost our counter-attacking ability that’s been yielding all the 3-4 goals-per-game results previously.

The absence of a proper right winger or right-sided midfield is costing us the flexibility to alter the formation. Jose has to come back to the diamond that has contributed so well during the start of the season. The team has to relearn passing from the back to the front and build up play. Lamps has to be allowed box-to-box play.

But since the Pool game is just too close I wonder will he risk changing the system? I suppose not. The team has to continue to belief. And so must the system continue. But Drogba has to go, no matter how highly Jose regards him (a mix between Ronaldo and Henry he claims) and Eidur should come in. And so must Tiago to give way to Smertin. Knowing Jose, pigs will have to fly first…

Painfully close

2005-02-21T18:00:00.000Z

Am glad I took the day off… knew there would be a glitch in the results but not this bad.. passing three out of four papers with full individual concentration on each subject is pretty good, either for my standards or any ACCA candidate.. but the reality that two of them made no difference as all three final papers needs to be repeated again is just plain p*** m****ing infuriating!! And the fact that managed to get a high 60 for ACR made it worse…

Am beside myself with grief…and rage… and resentment… just 6 more marks would’ve saved me E800, Stg180, and 3 and a half months worth of anguish…

Need to pull myself together quickly to be on track for June as this needs to be sorted by hook or crook!! And need all the support I can get to keep my heart keen and my mind clear…

Sometimes you lose...

2005-02-21T02:34:00.000Z

Can’t sleep... all the agitation about the results is getting to me... a lot of things riding on that 6 digits… 505050 would be ideal, of course with another 50 before that…how funny it is when all you could think about while in college was if it was gonna be an A, B, or C…but never once did I ever contemplate of failing…it’s all gone now, all that brash confidence melted by the ugliest number you could ever come across..49…who gives a 49? 47 maybe, or even 48.but 49? That’s just plain cruel…

The fact that we lost today didn’t help with my mood. Surprisingly I took it better than I expected... Overall it was a very costly game for us... Jose didn’t heed my advice and left Lamps out of the starting line-up. With too many second stringers starting there was bound to be difficulties in getting some cohesion at the start, and we paid the ultimate price. With definite injury to Bridge, possible with Gallas and Duff, and Carlo sent off it wasn’t just our pride that was dented but more dangerously our consistency. Worst case scenario we’ll be a bit short at the back. Smertin might have to play left back while the non-existence of wide players might force Jose to comeback to the trusted diamond. Nevertheless without a proper leftback we would be too narrow. We’ll just have to wait and see how they recover come Tuesday…

Today another chap went home. The numbers are falling over here...those that matter anyways…I wish you all the best in starting your life back home!

Super Sunday

2005-02-20T10:29:00.000Z

It’s Sunday morning! And for the 1st time in 4 weeks I have two days to look forward to without any thoughts on work!!!

I guess all the waking hours of Wednesday night was well worth it. Was one of the toughest weeks in my short career so far and thank God managed to pull it off. DQ hinted something of a contract extension so things look promising for June/October…

But enough of that…its all about today...Jimmy Hill on the telly, Blowers Daughter in my ears, coffee in hand…such bliss… and to make it so much better is the anticipation of the 1st of the triple crown coming up at 4…followed by Barca on Wednesday and Liverpool on Sunday.

This is something I mentioned on the ‘lost post’ Friday evening but in expectation of the afternoon what the heck I’ll do it again.

I think with the injuries/suspensions Jose will give priority to the Barca and Pool game. My I deal lineup (which I shared Jose last night :P) is Cudiccini ‘cause he just deserves to play, Johnson who needs to grow, Carvalho as JT is suspended anyway, I just wonder how we’ll cope without him for the 1st time, Gallas who else is there as Huth is still not fit, Bridge who needs the game to build up form for the season run in and after all the shenanigans involving Ashley Cole, Jarosik as Mack needs his rest to chase after Deco, Ronaldinho & Co as Jenas doesn’t require much supervision, Lamps to start well and since there’s no JT, Geremi who deserves a run out and after not being allowed to move in January, Duffer to whip in the crosses, Kezman as we desperately need a consistent striker and could only hope he finds his form and the only way of doing it is by letting him play, and finally Cole who still hasn’t measured up to expectations. And by the hour mark Morais, Tiago and Eidur should come in for Gallas, Lamps and Duffer to keep them fresh for Wednesday, reverting to the diamond so reliable early in the season. Joe would appreciate playing behind a front two and hopefully will weave some magic.

I’d prefer an outright win or lost but definitely not a draw as the fixture is already congested as it is. And despite all the shite of quadruples in the air the ideal number of trophies this season would be two…the League without a doubt and then maybe the League Cup…imagine winning 4 in his 1st season, how hungry do you think Jose and the players would be come August? And as a fan there won’t be a sense of anticipation either…a gradual buildup would be much better, culminating in the quadruple 2-3 seasons from now, with the likes of Addu, Ronaldinho and Gerard in the team…

As for now I’d settle for Kezman getting a brace so that at least whatever my results turn out to be tomorrow I’d be half happy…time to squeeze in Oceans 12 and a trip to the airport before the game..

What a shame

2005-02-19T05:47:00.000Z

Due to some freak reason I lost a post last night...am bloody annoyed but as one has already incessantly been exposed to the frailties of technology, shame on me! Must always keep in mind to type somewhere else and paste it here!!! No time to rewrite it now though, gotta get ready for work...and its not the same vibe either...but am glad that I brought myself to actually doing it..

The time between

2005-02-15T22:31:00.000Z

I have known all along of my failures to finish anything I start but it is today, tonite that reality hits hard on me...worked through the weekend and is the 2nd consecutive day that I went in at 7 and came back at 9, and the file is still not finished.. is it me or is it the job? Its too easy to blame the job when I had taken some liberties during the week and the weekend before.. Reading Binx's blog and seeing her link to mine made me understand the nature of how things have been for the last few months.

It seems for the life of me I have managed to elude that of which gives meaning to my daily life. The answer is quite simple..conviction..or the lack of it. Looking back at the growing years that to most people were their most golden of times, I have nothing to treasure but my meagre existence. There is no sense of achievement within me that can provide a source of light in these moments of darkness. Unsurprisingly the moment does not seem alien as there would have been days like this..days when I question myself but find no answers. At least none that would appease my hunger for a sense of belonging.

I think I've had enough. There is many things to be done in order to get myself back on track. Let this be witness to my trials and tribulations of the days to come. Hopefully it would not be another two full moons before another posting. Or else I will be back where I started...

My hope for this journal that it would be my friend. Someone I could talk to when there is no one there to listen to my thoughts, for I do not spin a fair tale. That is not my attribute for many times have I tried. I myself would rather plant my head into a hole then listen to myself talk.

Its close to 11, I need my sleep. Hafta be in around 7 again so that DQ can have his creditors and accruals by noon. Hopefully there aren't too many things to answer come morning from the sections given today. Then again most of them aren't mine and CM can have his share of fun since he's still there..

We'll see...hope to hear from F when I come home tomorrow..

well waddaya know...

2004-12-20T21:56:00.000Z

after much procrastination (which has always been associated with one’s self), the blog has finally come to life…much thanks to binx who got me hooked to this wonderful world of, escapism if you like, albeit at the most stressful and pressing of times…it was not so long in the distant past (two weeks ago in fact) that there I was at home, on leave from work with much laboured-for overtime, with exams coming up…and mind you this was no run of the mill exams, this was my finals, the keys to my future, my life! while taking a break one day, YMing with binx came a request -
binx: eh, gimme a suggestion for the name of my blog!
me: what lah, blog?
great question, wrong bloody time…always up for challenges of the mind and not wanting to disappoint a friend, one came up with a masterstroke through careful and intelligent probing…just a single suggestion reared success and much glee from my grateful friend…one’s heart is always warmed by any spread of joy…but what of this blogging business? hence one was introduced to a world of story telling, with such luminous characters, interesting anecdotes, searching questions…thank you friends for an insight into your lives…